This probably won't make much sense, I'm just going to spout what's on my mind...
I've found it harder and harder to motivate myself... with anything really. Especially lately. I don't want to be around people, I don't have the patience to sit down and read, Nothing phases me hardly. I've lost my confidence in the future, I'm scared of EVERYTHING, things I shouldn't even think about and those are generally my worst fears and they're taking a toll on me. For whatever reason, I've lost my passion for everything. I don't know why and I don't like it. I feel like a shell that goes through the same current everyday, getting eroded a little bit more everyday. It has a dream of being found, feeling like it's valuable rather than for the short time it was useful before, but there's a million shells trapped in the same current, all being eroded. It's too strong to just find your way out of, and waves are crashing with force, repeatedly making it worse... It's not like me to give up, especially on something I'm serious about, something I love. I don't choose to, I just... I don't even know... I'm just a shell...
Oh,.. you did put it on blogger. :D
ReplyDeleteSame stuff as I said before:
Taylor, you have no reason to feel like a shell. Everyone goes through a point in time where they feel like they have lost passion for everything. If you can write about not wanting to, then some part of you does want to. See, you have to lock onto that part of you that does want to [insert what you want to do here] and then push the red button! :D That probably made no sense at all. (It sounded better in my head.) -_- But seriously, you are the most caring, passionate, and determined person I know. You have never let anything erode you before, and I see no reason for you to start letting it do so now. You are not a shell, you are the person collecting shells. Be strong, meh buddeh, or I will have to push you into the ocean. D:<
Maybe you are a bit burned out at the moment, maybe the longer winter has an effect on your mood, maybe the craziness of Senior year has drawn your attention away from where you want it to be. There are lots of justifications for how you are feeling, there are a lot of changes happening in your life to deal with. The one thing I know for certain is that you are not just a shell, you may feel that way in this moment, but you are so much more. You will find your way back to your path, but you have to force yourself to keep walking in order to find it. You have a lot of people who believe in you and support you, we will never let the current completely take you away.
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