2012

So I wrote this for an extra credit assignment in Spanish recently, and now I'm really thinking. Read it and tell me your opinions. (Don't fix anything, it's drafted and really rough, I know this) - Don't take it worth a grain of sand, just my babblings. I'm also one who thinks God killed off the Mayans for figuring out something they weren't suppose to. God is a Boss. lol.

2012

With recent popular belief that the world will end in 2012, more and more people create their own predictions of what may happen. Facts are scarce, but what we do know is the idea originated from the Mayan calendar that mysteriously ends on December 21, 2012.

In the movie 2012, the end of the world is depicted as it was in Biblical stories and destroyed by "a great flood." However, in the Bible, God promises after the flood that he will never again destroy the world by water. Also with the movie, came the idea that this all begins with earthquakes, which according to research on earthquake frequencies in the past few decades, is so real it is scary. There has been an almost constant incline of earthquakes every year, more frequently 6.0 and higher magnitude on the Richter scale.

In my opinion, I'm not sure the Mayan's calendar had anything to do with the end of the world. Granted, they were known for being mathematicians, but their civilization collapsed and they had to stop somewhere; Besides, according to picking up a cell phone and going to the end of the calendar on that idea means the world would in in 2100. It means nothing more than that's where it ended. I honestly think it is mere coincidence that recent events have happened and that people will grab onto whatever they can for answers. Although, with that being said, I do believe a "second coming" may not be so far off. The irony and coincidence is too much to ignore and is slowly making me more of a believer every day. 

My prediction however would be: If things were to advance as they did in the movie, or more realistically as they are now, I don't doubt something will knock the world off-kilter. I believe the next, and possible final destruction of the world will be a firey one in that we will orbit right into the sun. If I were to tie this all together, the Mayans based everything they did around the sun, so maybe they did know something we don't know yet. For instance, maybe it did end because there's suppose to be an eclipse of the sun that year where all the planets are suppose line up. That may affect the gravitational pulls of all the plants and actually may end up destroying our galaxy. Maybe nothing happens, I'm not sure, I don't know much about physics. One thing is for sure though. As I write this, there are 998 days left until December 21, 2012 and slowly, but surely, previous predictions both religiously and scientifically are lining up.

Honestly, I don't know what is in store for the world, and I'm still skeptical when it comes to the mainstream outlook on the Mayan calendar, but I do believe that something we will not be prepared for will happen within our lifetimes.

Chibi is ____ dead.

"In Celtic tradition the Swan is associated with deities of healing waters and the sun. They are associated with music, love, purity and the soul. They are shape-shifters, can take human form, and have mastered the elements of water, earth and air. They can always be recognized by the gold or silver chain that hangs around their neck.

Among Druids, the Swan represents the soul, and is associated with the Festival of Samhain"

- (http://druidry.org/obod/lore/animal/swan.html)

*Also believed to be able to summon the 4 winds

A few months ago in Lit we read "The Dead" and had an extensive discussion on how all the characters were "dead." Lately I've been thinking about it more and more, and where I'm alive and healthy, I too am dead.

A swan, the very representation of the soul, jack of all trades, if you will, and the beauty associated with innocence; All am I but innocent, instead just naive... A swan song is "A final gesture or performance, given before dying." With that in mind, and I know this is really jumpy and may or may not make any sense seeing as I'm typing without drafting.., but let me explain...

I'm a person who's driven by their emotions. Someone who is very connected with my "soul" and more rather disconnected with my "logic." I'm a hopeless romantic, I believe in love and happy endings. I believe in fairy tales and tend to live in day dreams. It's not that I've had a bad life, it's not that I totally want to escape from the world because of something like that, simply put, it's just how I am. With that comes a lot of denial and a lot of optimism however... I'm not sure if that will even have to come to play in with anything but I suppose I should say it still...

Basically, My soul is dead. Taylor is emotionally and realistically dead, is how you'd say it I suppose... Sure, I can feel. I know I feel, too much probably, but I'm in retreat. I've locked myself in my head, in a coffin to be protected. Lately I've let myself come out and try to be reborn, and I'm met with confusion in all directions. Right now, I'm the most confused I have ever been in my life. I'm not sure who to trust, who I can open myself up to, if I can trust myself, what's going on in general... with anything in my life. I'm so far hidden I can't focus, all I want to do is hide in a fantasy. I'm not in touch with reality hardly at all, and my body is just... mentally, emotionally and physically shot.

The swan is also a symbol for the Festival of Samhain, the celtic new year, or more known as "end of summer". In that, being a swan, I'm hoping I can pull out of this soon. A new year is a new start. At the end of summer, everything dies, and then comes life. A swan, maybe like the phoenix, is reborn and more beautiful than ever with every death... So maybe Andrew won't show up at my door one day and kiss me saying everything was a mistake... but one thing's for sure, I love him and I feel that more painfully and blissfully than ever and he's noticing the spark again... Maybe my grades won't be the greatest, but I will graduate still, #88 in my class with a 3.5, but I will have that chance... Maybe I don't get money for my scholarship audition coming up again, but maybe I'll gain experience and ideas to grasp onto... Maybe, just maybe, my soul can live again...

http://www.realmagick.com/articles/11/1811.html

http://www.imbas.org/articles/samhain.html

Andrew Carlton Edwin Petty

"I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever"

Dear Andrew,

You are so precious to me, you seriously wouldn't even have a clue. You ask me why I think you're worth anything or why I'm determined to keep you, and in short it's because I do love you. I know that makes you uncomfortable right now to hear, but short and to the point, I love you. To me that includes pushing through the hard times beside you, even when you're against me. We don't know what's wrong, whether it's something with us (though I really dont think it is) or if you're scared secretly or whatever this is, we don't know yet, and together I plan on finding out with you and helping fix it. 

Now why I don't just give up when I get stung is driven by how much you mean to me. Maybe it's your dashing good looks and charming smile. lol. Maybe it's the fact that you treat me better than any friend or boyfriend I've ever had. Maybe it's because you make me feel safe. Maybe it's because I know the extent to how remarkable you really are. Maybe it's because we've already been through a lot and I know we can get through this. Maybe it's because I can't see my life without you, and I honestly don't want to. Maybe it's because we click, perfectly when I'm not being spoiled. Maybe it's because you're my hero. Maybe it's because of a lot of things... but I know this is fixable and we'll solve it together. I'm pushing to see you smile again, that's all I want. I want your eyes to brighten up again and you be your nerdy dorky self again. But it's not going to be easy and we'll probably both break down a few times, but we'll grow and maybe whatever it is will be gone for good.

I know you're confused on if you love me or not right now, but I really think you still do. You're still my best friend and I love you. I would be willing to go through this 10 fold for you. So basically to answer your question, I don't have A specific answer. There's not one reason, it's everything about you and it's how I feel towards you. 

Andrew Petty, you're absolutely amazing and by the time I hit the grave I will get this through your thick skull lol. Don't be scared of hurting me, I already know you are, but I'm telling you it's time to start pushing through this instead of hiding behind it. Through pain or happiness, or whatever else comes, I'll be here and I will help you. Because regardless of what you think, you really are worth it all to me, I just wish I could do more...

Shell

This probably won't make much sense, I'm just going to spout what's on my mind...
I've found it harder and harder to motivate myself... with anything really. Especially lately. I don't want to be around people, I don't have the patience to sit down and read, Nothing phases me hardly. I've lost my confidence in the future, I'm scared of EVERYTHING, things I shouldn't even think about and those are generally my worst fears and they're taking a toll on me. For whatever reason, I've lost my passion for everything. I don't know why and I don't like it. I feel like a shell that goes through the same current everyday, getting eroded a little bit more everyday. It has a dream of being found, feeling like it's valuable rather than for the short time it was useful before, but there's a million shells trapped in the same current, all being eroded. It's too strong to just find your way out of, and waves are crashing with force, repeatedly making it worse... It's not like me to give up, especially on something I'm serious about, something I love. I don't choose to, I just... I don't even know... I'm just a shell...